On Being Relevant

photo by Beth Kanter

It has been a year since I first heard about the Relevant conference. It was one of those events that you read about and your heart leaps, the kind of thing that just feels like a fit. I wanted to go. These were my kind of people. I waited eagerly for the information to be released on the 2011 dates, thinking perhaps by then my writing endeavors would be such that I could justify the expense of traveling from Texas to Pennsylvania.

My heart leap turned to a heart thud when the dates came out. The first day was our daughter's tenth birthday. After a moment of disappointment I let go and lived on. I really didn't think much about it after that. I understood it was not for me. Sometimes God makes things simple.

One day in September, a week or so after the fire, I was driving around town, doing errands and answering my children's questions about the changes in our community. In the midst of talking about the fire relief efforts, the word relevant came into my mind.

I thought of the conference, and the blogging friends who I knew were going, and almost immediately those faces were replaced by the faces of friends here who have lost so much. Again confirmation.

Relevant.

The word echoed in my brain.

Relevant means "pertaining to the matter at hand."  And I ask myself, what is the matter at hand in my life?

I love this, love that God knew long ago that where I was going to be relevant in late October 2011 was at home with my birthday girl.

At home where I could still go to our Homeschool Distribution Center. Where I could talk with friends who are fire survivors and continue to find ways to replace the books they lost, and just listen.

At home to pray with my husband as he makes important decisions.

At home to see my youngest ride a bike without training wheels for the first time....

... and be on the receiving end of this victory hug....

Being relevant means being present to the need for now. It means paying attention to where I am.

And living in the right-now means I don't make rules about the future. Maybe some day I will go to a blogging conference. Maybe not. If I am going to live a relevant life, I have to be open to what is most needful at that moment, when it comes.

Alas, I am not only not able to see into the future, but also am woefully inept at making decisions for right now, so I really only one have one option: to seek God constantly. To dwell in His presence.

Only by living in His will can I ever be truly relevant.

Family Traditions ~ Birthday Face

One year, shortly after we moved to the farm, I made breakfast in bed for Farmer Boy on his birthday, and presented the food laid out on the plate like a face.  Ever since then the "face breakfast" has been a cherished birthday tradition.

On today's menu - turkey bacon, fresh blueberry muffins and a strawberry

Today is The Princess' 10th birthday.  Ten is a big deal to her. She has announced that she is no longer little, now that she is double digits. It is not a happy announcement for her.

She grieved in the week leading up to today, and in the minutes leading up to 11:00am this morning, the time of her birth.

But the face made her happy, very happy. 

I missed getting a picture up her little cup of tea, all dainty and proper with lumps of sugar on the side. She was especially tickled with the flower and candles.  Turns out there are a few perks to age.

Oh how I love this girl!

Happy birthday Sweetheart. Your mama loves you!

Enjoying This Moment

I pull into the parking lot at our local park. The van doors slide open and three yellow-shirted children tumble out to wait for white spray on arms and faces. Then one by one they shout I-love-yous and run down the path, heading for friends and their homeschool PE class.

I get back into the van. The time is mine. It is a light feeling. It feels... good... strange.

We have always homeschooled, so for the past fourteen and a half years I have had a child with me at almost all times. Each time one grew almost old enough to head off to a class like this, another one was born. There are almost five years between each of our living children.

This is the first time all three have regularly been away from me at the same time.

As I work the round of errands, I realize something odd is happening. I am flying through stores, crossing to-do's off my list left and right. I am going to have enough time to sit in the coffee shop and drink a half-priced frozen coffee and write! This is so easy!

Then it hits me. I am enjoying this. Enjoying not being with my family.

And immediately I miss them. My babies... growing up! I feel how fast the time is flying. Wasn't this just yesterday?

But no, it was fourteen years ago, and that chubby baby is now taller than I am.

What is it about humans? Greedy... we want what we don't have. The other day I told my son how much I would have loved to have had his amazing curls. My husband said "Not if you'd had them." He was right of course.

I don't want to live in the grass-is-always-greener trap. Nor the grass-was-greener-when trap. I want to live in this moment. I want to love this moment.

So when I am with my children I want to be with them, not thinking about what to make for dinner or how I'm going I find time to write. And when I am not with them I want to be fully immersed in what I am doing, thankful for the time to do things alone for a while. Enjoying each for what it is.

Just thankful for now, for this moment.

Experiencing the Fullness of Joy ~ Psalm 16

Of all the authors in the bible, David is my go-to guy when I am feeling down.  David had a remarkable way of pouring out his sorrow to the Lord eloquently.  He wasn’t afraid to be real.

What appeals to me about David’s writings is that no matter how miserable he was, no matter how hopeless and desperate it all seemed, he always ended up praising God. David knew where he stood with the Lord. Read more.

We're talking about the fruits of the spirit at Do Not Depart. To download this study go here.