Lessons from the Knitting Chair ~ Love is More Powerful Than Perfection

When I was hugely pregnant with The Princess (and I mean hugely), a sweet friend sat next to my massive form on the couch one afternoon, handed me two wooden needles and a ball of yarn, and taught me how to knit.

Being slow to warm up to projects of a creative nature (ahem), I immediately decided to knit a blanket. I wish I could blame it on pregnancy hormones, but this is a handicap that afflicts me regularly... if I can do it in miniature I get the wild idea that I can do it on a grand scale.

So I waddled off to the local craft shop, bought the only 100% cotton I could find, along with some hideous aluminum needles, and set to work. Naturally I picked a lace project.

If you don't know anything about knitting, let's just say that starting with lace is kind of like starting school by going to Harvard.  Who cares about kindergarten when you can go straight to college!

I did not finish that lace blanket in time for the baby's birth. It sat in my closet while I nursed and rocked, and homeschooled our oldest. Then my husband started traveling for his job. Then we moved. To a farm. And had another baby. And on and on like this... for six years we did things that required my hands and that made me hesitate to pull out the blanket. Note that perfectionism had nothing to do with my hesitation. Nothing at all.

But one day, I felt that blanket calling to me, and I decided that by sheer force of will I was going to finish it. Not only finish it, but finish it with a simplified pattern and with all the mistakes left unfixed.

This was huge.

Leaving mistakes is not natural for me. I do not like mistakes. I accept that they are going to happen, but I try to remedy them, not leave them intact.

My new goal had become to finish, not to perfect.

So on a March evening in 2008, I finally finished the blanket for my six year old baby.

I was utterly shocked when she swooned over it. I mean swooned. She gushed and oohed and aahed and made me feel like the best mama on the planet.

And when we evacuated because of the fire last September, it was one of the things she wanted to have with her.

Apparently my daughter understood that while I was knitting holes where they didn't belong and dropping stitches with that cotton yarn, I was also carrying a strand of love with each dip and twist of the needles.

If I hadn't embraced the mistakes and forged ahead, there would still be a pile of unfinished yarn in my closet.

If I hadn't just gone forward without regret, my Princess wouldn't have her treasured blanket.

Love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

All of messy muddled up me was in those loops of yarn and that was enough for my girl. Holes and all.

The Curious Case of Overwhelmed Paralysis Syndrome

A new condition has recently been discovered in which the sufferer breaks down in a most unusual way. Generally brought on by oodles-to-do and perfectionism, the patient simply ceases functioning as a reasonable adult.

Symptoms include to-do lists littered about the house, piles of materials for unfinished projects, anxiety when speaking to people whose phone calls and emails have not been returned, and lots of time frittered away on useless pursuits. One alarming aspect of this condition is the tendency for the patient to add several new major projects to her to-do list daily, regardless of the fact that there is not enough time for her to accomplish those already on her list.

The patient finds it difficult to sleep, consumes too much caffeine, and asks for forgiveness regularly. She also is prone to making ridiculous faces.

Curiously, the patient tends to neglect first the things she cares about most. Thankfully this does not include people.
 
A recent study undertaken in my very own home has shown that this condition is self-replicating. The less the patient does to manage her spinning-out-of-control life, the more overwhelmed she becomes. During the study the patient was heard to say "The state of my house is directly correlated to the state of my mind. And where are my keys?"

A telling moment in the study was when it was discovered that the patient planned to hand-knit five hats, one flower, one pair of socks and a washcloth. In six days. One of which was Christmas.

The only way to cure Overwhelmed Paralysis Syndrome is to make a clean break. In dire cases the patient must relocate, even if temporarily.

I am happy to report that in the case of the study undertaken in my home, a six day vacation was more than enough to reset the patient's brain. Post-vacation she reported the following:

"I am so glad we went away. If we had stayed home I would have continued to work, yet feel like I was accomplishing nothing. When we came back I felt like myself again, like I could think. I felt motivated and ready to get things back in order and back to normal."

Due to the fragile nature of the patient's condition and her ongoing recovery, no one pointed out that there is no such thing as "normal." And no one laughed at her too-big hand-knitted hat, too-small hand-knitted hat or very lacy hand-knitted washcloth.

Sometimes the Gift that is Needed Most is the Hardest Gift to Give

Thank you for walking through the Give Back Giveaway with me.

It has brought me much joy to highlight these ministries for your support, to see the hope and healing being brought into lives around the world, and to give away lovely and delicious gifts to you from these ministries. I do hope you will seriously consider supporting them as you give this Christmas.

But I will confess that reading and writing about the brokenness and need in the many precious lives served through these programs has grieved me. The hiddenness and magnitude of the problems threaten to overwhelm this tender heart.

Can we be honest?

There is never enough that we can do. Because the hurt is so huge.

But we must do something. Our love for Jesus, because of His love for us, simply must overflow and embrace those who hurt.

In the end, we truly are never enough. But He is enough. He is enough for us, He is enough for all who suffer. He is the only hope we have.

We can be His hands and feet, His eyes and ears, pouring ourselves out in love and service right here and right now.

This may sound funny, given that I have spent a month sharing various ministries with you, but I believe this firmly...

If you have a choice to send money somewhere, or to reach out and touch a hurting person right near you, turn to that hurting person.

Yes, money matters, it does make a difference and people and ministries REALLY need it. So many are struggling financially.

But you have neighbors who don't have a group ministering to them. So you be the ministry, you minister to their needs. You are equipped for this in Him!

I look around me now, here in the middle of a burned out forest, and I see an incredible amount of real and present need. When 1600+ homes and businesses are completely destroyed in a rural community, the list of needs is overwhelming.

Sometimes the way to meet a need does require money. But creative lovers of Christ can serve, no matter the circumstance.

The balm for all wounds, ultimately, is love, and love doesn't require money.

If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that love may be the more costly of the two, as it requires giving of our very selves.

This is what is required of us, I believe. And I fail abysmally most of the time. But I long to live love and pour out my life as an offering.

Will you try with me?

Open your heart to the need right next door, and give yourself away this Christmas.



photo by JoyLove7

The Give Back Giveaway ~ Women at Risk International AND Christian Freedom International

Okey doke, dear ones, time for the final Give Back Giveaway!

First off, allow me to introduce you to Women at Risk International. These folks work in countries around the world serving women in danger and crisis.  They do quite a bit of outreach in the United States as well.

A bulk of the focus is on human trafficking. It is hard to wrap my mind around the reality that in New York City alone there are 3500+ children being trafficked. WAR, Int'l has multiple approaches... prevention, education, raids, job training, safe houses, and more. From their website:

Women At Risk, International (WAR, Int’l) is a nonprofit organization established to place circles of protection around women at risk. The purpose and passion of this organization is to wrap arms of love around women and children, whispering the message that they were created for purpose and dignity. Creating safe places for women and children rescued from many abuses including human trafficking/sexual slavery, WAR, Int’l desires to give voice to their silenced cries.

Take some time to read their website. It's a very rich site with lots of hidden treasures, much like the women they serve.

They sell items to raise funds for the various projects.  90% of the proceeds from the item sold goes back to the project from which it originated.  As I perused their offerings my attention was caught by this:

It is an alabaster candle holder. I knew what it was made of right away because earlier this year I wrote about the woman with the alabaster jar, and I searched high and low for a picture of one. Alabaster was valuable in Jesus' days, and the contents of that alabaster jar was the woman's most prized possession.

Well, of course I knew that that was what I just had to give away here. What a lovely reminder of the treasure that we have in Christ, that all we have is His, that really we are His greatest treasure!

And a candle holder needs candles, yes?

Enter Christian Freedom International!

CFI ministers to the needs of the persecuted church around the world.  From their website:

CFI has relationships with indigenous believers and churches including underground house church networks and Christian cell groups in countries where they are persecuted for their faith.

These courageous Christians share our passion for assisting the part of the Body that is suffering. They work with us to provide medicine, safe-houses, aid, Bibles, education, microenterprise, documentation, and advocacy to Christians and their families who are on the front lines of persecution.

And in their fundraising shop? Candles!

Don't you think these bamboo candles will go nicely with the alabaster candle holder?

In this giveaway:

• one alabaster candle holder from Egypt, via WAR, Int'l
• three bamboo candles from Thailand, via CFI

There are four ways to enter this giveaway from Women at Risk International and Christian Freedom International (please leave a separate comment for each... one comment = one chance to win).

Please include a way to contact you (via email, twitter or facebook) in one of your comments.

1. Are you a candle lover? Dinner? Bathtime? When do you like to light candles? Leave a comment.
2. Browse the WAR Chest Boutique and share one item you might want to give as a gift.
3. Browse the CFI Store and share one item you might want to give as a gift. 
4. Share the WAR/CFI Give Back Giveaway with your friends by tweeting or facebooking about it (then leave a comment here). Feel free to use this: "Bamboo candle and alabaster candle holder giveaway at Joyful Mama.... http://goo.gl/Wqc0n #GiveBackGiveaway"

The alabaster candle holder and bamboo candle giveaway will end on Saturday Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:59 pm CST. Winner will be chosen using random.org.

UPDATE: This giveaway has ended. Congratulations His Jules!

Disclosure: I am not affiliated with Women At Risk International or Christian Freedom International. The giveaway items will be purchased for the purpose of this giveaway, with all funds going to WAR Int'l and CFI.