Again I Will Say Rejoice!

Again I am late. Late to be born, late to get teeth, late to my wedding. Late.

And again I forget to start dinner early. So dinner will be late.

Again I forget to get the laundry out of the dryer so that it won't be wrinkled.

Again I knock something over because I am not looking.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!
Philippians 4:4

Again I bow my head to pray for strength.

Again I snuggle my babies tight.

Again I stop what I am doing to make a hot breakfast for my husband who works so hard for us.

Again I look to the sky to see deep strokes of color on a blue canvas.

Again I linger with frolicking kittens to giggle.

Again I choose to hope, because all the messy agains are rushed away in the strong waters of hopeful agains.

Again I choose love.

A little writing exercise with the prompt "Again,"
joining with Lisa-Jo for Five Minute Friday.

Where to Find Joy When You are Worn and Weary

When the relentless rest-less days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into months, all the hurry and rush can make a mama see the world through a lens of gray.

It's a worrisome place to be... feels a bit like days of old, days of depression and gloom.

The need to get out bed is more urgent than ever, but the will lacking.

Air is crisp and the bed is warm. It's a fight to make feet hit cold ground.

In the middle of the dark-inside days doesn't joy seem a flickering memory? A dream dreamed on a long ago night?

Toes touch the floor and seek soft slippers. Little comforts soften the edges.

Shuffling to the kitchen for a hot drink, a bible lies near.

It is closed.

Eyes stay focused on the floor because legos and books and marbles and cheerios make feet grumpy, even feet in soft slippers. The mess in the house feels like the mess in the mind.

In the kitchen the electric tea kettle whooooshes bubbly water, and steam winds to the ceiling. The counter has crumbs.

And this mama wonders... will I ever get there? Will I ever ever ever get it all done? And is any of it worth doing anyway?

A little rustling sound and then a tangle of small arms and warmth from behind.

Crumbs and legos and fog are forgotten as we two wrap all up for the morning snuggle, sitting right there on the kitchen floor.

Love pushes the clouds a bit and says, "Are you hungry?"

Then love gets up off the cold floor and wipes the counter. Love melts the butter and cracks the eggs. Love grinds the coffee for Papa and wakes other children.

And love makes the mama remember... it is in doing love that joy is found.

The day never gets perfect. The race against household entropy is never ending and the people are all still sinners. Every day.

That closed bible calls out and is cracked wide, and as pages are turned and the realest truest words read aloud, brains start to clean and clear.

Hope. Life. And this is the hope that does not disappoint.

Even for gloomy mamas on dreary days joy glimmers.

joy in doing love for beloveds

joy tucked in Word truth

joy in resting mind quiet on Him

The vanilla smell of a lit candle turns my face and my eyes linger on the solitary flame. Waving, straight, now fluttering again.

And when still, it always points straight up.


Blessed to join
imperfect prose
for the first time.

Looking Forward - The Year of Confidence

2006 - the year of no regrets

2008 - the year of dancing

2011 - the year of perseverance

2012 - the year of courage

And 2013?

The year of

It's not what I would have planned.

"Confidence" seems kind of, um... self-help-y. Maybe even a touch arrogant.

But what can I say? I don't really choose these things. I go where I am led.

And let me be clear: it's the year of confidence, not the year of self-confidence.

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
..for we are the true circumcision, who worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh... Philippians 3:3
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6

God continues to draw me to Himself, and by so doing pulls me deeper and deeper into the Real Me. The person He created to be fully His. Stripping away the junk. It stings sometimes and at the same time is so liberating and joy-filled.

My confidence is not in myself. But I also have been seeing that as I put my confidence in Him, He makes me more able in the real world, in the day to day, to do and be what He has called me to.

Self-confidence would be backwards. It would start with self, and isn't that where all sin starts?

Where will this lead? Only He knows!

Further up and further in....

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