When My Expectations Go Off the Deep End

I've been thinking about expectations the past few days.

About how I have a lot of them.

And how so many of them are unrealistic.

Kids? That I think I sorted out long ago. I figured out that if I expect my babies to sleep through the night I will be disappointed. If I lean into it, embrace reality, I can shape my life to deal with it.

Even now that they are all sleeping well through the night, I think I am pretty good at swatting away unrealistic kid expectations.

Fantasy: all children will be compliant on all school days and we will all happily learn together while keeping to a schedule

Reality: we all have good days and bad days, even Mama. The best approach is to take the long view. Not to think in days, but in weeks, even years. While it helps to have daily school plans, the real measure of how each child is doing comes as I look over the whole school year.

So yay, right? Realistic expectations.


Except when it comes to me. Or Me, Myself and I, as I seem to think I am capable of squeezing the work of three women into a day.

Did you know that it is {deep breath} unrealistic {I said it!} on a given day to cook all meals from scratch wholesomely on a budget, have no dust bunnies, educate the children with both breadth and depth, be an amazingly attentive and attractive wife, be a grace-filled yet firm mother, be caught up with the laundry, do church-based ministry work, do community-based ministry work, write and publish something of value, have clean floors, interact in a meaningful way with strangers via social media, keep up with all old friends and family via email/phone/facebook, write thank you letters, have an adorably tidy and productive homestead, have a rich personal prayer time, study the scriptures in depth, memorize chapters of the bible, and of course, be cheerful?

Did you know that?


Me too, kinda, especially when I read it all smooshed together in one run-on ludicrous sentence.

But Myself and I? Those ladies are clueless.

They seem to think that not only is it possible, but that not do so equals failure.

Like, failure as a human being. Seriously. {eyes roll}


Fantasy: it is possible for a human being to accomplish everything in that paragraph-of-ridiculousness in a day.

Reality: I will get a few of those things done each day. Some are non-negotiables. And hopefully more than few will get done. But not all.

So friends, reality means I will not post here for a month and then suddenly I will post almost daily.

Reality is I will tell you I will email you about something and I will completely forget because when I sit down at my computer my brain goes *!*!*!*!* with all the things I am supposed to do and instead I will follow some bunny trail of blog reading.

Reality is I will make homemade muffins for breakfast but they will be with white flour because I forgot to clean the grinder yesterday so that the kids could start grinding wheat again and now I am in a rush.

Reality is I will completely forget to study my scripture memorization passages one day then spend 20 minutes the next day listening to myself saying them on repeat on my iPhone while driving the kids to an activity.

Reality is this mama is a bumbling mess, who has a wonderful life that begs to be enjoyed. So Myself and I are just going to have to chill out, 'cause the kids want to go with Me to visit some piglets.


Since I hadn't hit publish yet after writing the above, I can't resist sharing some pictures from our walk down to the babies.

You see what I mean about the wonderful life?

Now how about you go enjoy yours too. :-)

"To do" photo by Courtney Dirks
All other photos by Patti Brown


  1. yep. i'm also guilty of expecting that "paragraph" from myself everyday. And also equally guilty of assuming I've "failed" if I don't meet those requirements. Thank you for helping give me eyes to the ridiculousness of my efforts in performance. LOVE the pics of ur cuties and ur piggies. adorable. Worth stoppping and enjoying every second. SUCCESS!

  2. Ha! Me (myself, and I) too. It's worse when I'm pg - then I still expect the whole paragraph, but am even less capable of it, and less able to see reason, too. :-P The pigs are as insanely cute as my bunnies, btw. :)

  3. Oh yes! Myself and I are such annoying, guilt-producing gals. Thank you for giving me some perspective this morning. Off to muzzle those bossy girls. . .

  4. Maybe Myself and I can realign their perspectives. They'd probably like to visit the piglets too!

  5. What a sweet, sweet and timely post. I am such a perfectionist, myself, and I know all the negative and harmful things it brings.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...